Menopause Symptom Denial is Real: Why Many Women Think It's Not Affecting Them

And why that mysterious shoulder pain might be hormonal...

If you’re over 35, going into your 40s, 50s or beyond and wondering why your hips are aching, energy’s vanished, or your thumb joints have suddenly decided to swell and protest — you’re not imagining it.

But here’s the thing...most of us don’t connect the dots straight away. We think:

“I’m too young for menopause.”

“Maybe I just slept funny.”

“This must be stress, or aging, or something else entirely.”

Spoiler: it might be hormones. And it doesn’t always look like hot flushes and mood swings.

Midlife Doesn’t Come with a Manual

Perimenopause wasn’t even on the NHS website five years ago. No one told you about the weird symptoms — the frozen shoulders, the creeping anxiety, itching skin or the deep fatigue that lingers no matter how early you go to bed!

And then post-menopause? Often dismissed as “done and dusted” — when in reality, your body is still adjusting and deserves just as much care.

You might forget names (I definitely mix up and forget my words!), feel foggy or flat, or find yourself wondering why your body doesn’t bounce back the way it used to.

“But my symptoms aren't because of hormones...”

That’s the catch. So many women dismiss early or even later onset symptoms because they don’t think it could be menopause related — or because they’ve been taught to just push through.

The truth is:

• Hormonal changes can start as early as 35 (or earlier with conditions like POI - Primary Ovarian Insufficiency or anyone who had a surgical menopause... )

• They don’t end after your last period

• And they often show up in unexpected ways — joint pain, brain fog, sleep changes, low mood, dry eyes — check the list below.

  
  

This isn’t about overreacting. It’s about recognising the signs, understanding what’s going on, and knowing you have options.

Perimenopause, Menopause & After: The Quiet Ripple Effect

There’s a deeper story here — one tied to estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone.

You might be surprised to know:

• Perimenopause can last up to 10 years;

• The immune system changes during perimenopause and menopause, which can increase inflammation and affect overall health and wellbeing;

• Estrogen continues to influence our reproductive system, skeletal system, cardiovascular system, brain, skin, and urinary tract — even post-menopause.

As hormones fluctuate and decline, things that used to feel simple; like sleeping well, recovering from exercise, or moving without aches, become more difficult.

Your aching hip? Could be linked.

That anxiety spike before your period? Also hormonal.

The frozen shoulder? Estrogen affects connective tissue — so yes, that too.

And here’s the kicker: most of us were never told this.

By the time many of us start making connections, we’ve already been dealing with symptoms for years. And because these shifts are gradual, it’s easy to normalise discomfort.

Common Symptoms of Perimenopause and Menopause

Count how many of the symptoms below that you relate to. It might be more than you had realised! You could print off this list to discuss with your GP or menopause specialist. There are also great tools like the Balance App, that helps you to log your daily symptoms and can be printed for review.

Physical Symptoms	Psychological / Emotional Symptoms
Irregular periods	Low mood / depression
Hot flushes	Anxiety or increased worry
Night sweats	Irritability / short temper
Sleep disturbance / insomnia	Brain fog / forgetfulness
Fatigue / low energy	Mood swings
Joint and muscle aches	Poor concentration / focus
Vaginal dryness or irritation	Loss of confidence
Itchy skin or formication (skin crawling)	Reduced motivation
Bladder issues (urgency / leaks)	Feeling overwhelmed
Weight gain or changing body shape	Emotional sensitivity / weepiness
Breast tenderness	Sense of disconnection
Palpitations or racing heart	Loss of joy or pleasure
Digestive issues / bloating	Increased sensitivity to stress
Headaches / migraines	Social withdrawal
Dry eyes / mouth / nose	Feeling like “you’re not yourself”
Thinning hair or hair loss	Recurrent UTIs
Tingling / electric shock sensations	Vulval dryness/atrophy

You Can Feel Better

You don’t have to feel stuck, stiff, or like your best self is behind you. This is your reminder: you’re not broken. You’re evolving. And you don’t have to figure it out on your own.

Start by getting curious about how you’re feeling. Don’t dismiss the signs. Support might include HRT, nutrition, Pilates and strength training, nervous system healing, and simply giving yourself permission to rest and reset. Even if your menopause is behind you, your body is likely to be asking for some support.

Fun facts: HRT can be started after the age of 60 or more than 10 years after your menopause and most women who are otherwise fit and well do still gain benefits at this point. Plus, all women can continue to take HRT as long as the benefits outweigh the risks, and for most healthy women, this is for ever.

If you're navigating strange symptoms, feeling not quite yourself, or wondering whether this could all be “just aging” — know that you’re not alone, and you’re not imagining it.

It's never too late to reconnect with your body, get curious, and take steps toward feeling better. At Moxie Pilates, you’ll find more than a class — you’ll find a warm and supportive environment where you’re heard, supported, and guided — no matter where you are in your journey. You deserve to feel strong, resilient and connected.

-Ali x